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Wednesday, April 25, 2012


"15 Then Nathan went home. And the Lord caused the son of David and Bathsheba, Uriah's widow, to be very sick. 16 David fasted and went into his house and stayed there, lying on the ground all night. 17 The elders of David's family came to him and tried to pull him up from the ground, but he refused to get up or to eat food with them.
18 On the seventh day the baby died. David's servants were afraid to tell him that the baby was dead. They said, 'Look, we tried to talk to David while the baby was alive, but he refused to listen to us. If we tell him the baby is dead, he may do something awful.'
19 When David saw his servants whispering, he knew that the baby was dead. So he asked the, 'Is the baby dead?' They answered, 'Yes, he is dead.'
20 Then David got up from the floor, washed himself. put lotions on, and changed his clothes. Then he went into the Lord's house of worship...."
     ~2 Samuel 12:15-20

Having had a tough day, and hearing council from a good friend about letting go of stress, I knew that I wanted to return to my hommie David and recall his many stressful situations. How did he deal?

I carefully and prayerfully opened my eyes to this chapter. Although David's situation isn't similar in any way to my situation, stress is stress. There were a couple things that jumped out at me. It is all that human nature shinning through.

1) The struggle.
After hearing from Nathan that his baby was going to die, David shut down. Nathan spoke all that God asked him to speak. It was all very clear what the consequences of David's actions were and why they were going to occur. But, after hearing these things, David shut down. Not easy things to grasp, yes that is true, but the deeper struggle is acceptance.
How easy is it to accept the hurricanes that come our way. It's a whole lot easier to curl into a ball or to lose momentum. The emotions that desire to linger during these times are dangerous. They are so borderline. You desire to give God all in the situation, but.... There is the 'but'. That's why I use the term struggle.

2) The Hearing Impaired
When you are at the point of deciding whether or not to give all to the Lord, we often times become like the hearing impaired- temporarily at least. Everyone tried to talk to David. It got to the point where they were not sure how emotionally stable he was. When the baby actually died, everyone was walking on eggshells, unsure of what would happen at any second.
At that moment when the flesh is weak but oh so strong and you hear Jesus speaking, do you listen to him. It's like when we are in class. You hear your boring-redundant professor speaking, but are you intently listening? Internalizing the words leaving his/her mouth?

"21 David's servants said to him, 'Why are you doing this? When the baby was still alive, you fasted and you cried. Now that the baby is dead, you get up and eat food.'
22 David said, 'While the baby was still alive, I fasted, and I cried. I thought, 'Who knows? Maybe the Lord will feel sorry for me and let the baby live.' But now that the baby is dead, why should I fast? I can't bring him back to life. Someday I will go to him, but he cannot come back to me.'"
     verses 21-22

Breakthrough. Choosing not to stress about things that are not in your control (or in your control). David was able to make that choice in regard to losing his child. His child.... How much more should I be able to dedicate all of my emotions to God? How much more should I let things go. I have not experienced the pain in losing a child. But, it's not the amount of pain that makes the difference, it's amount of peace that you really want. Either you desire to be at rest or you desire to hold onto the unrest.

I am no longer stressed.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Focus.... or A.D.D.??

Ha! Focus. What are you?

So, I may joke, but focus is not a strength of mine. Determination suuure, I've got plenty of that. Focus, however... not so much.

Often times I wonder why I have to be so A.D.D. Like, why can't I just be beast and have mad focus skills? I guess it is that proverbial thorn in my side or it just is what it is. One thing I know for sure is that I have it. =)

What I ask of you Lord, right now, at this very moment, is for you to grant me the honor of having my mind think about only one thing right now. SCHOOL! Two tests tomorrow and I need the peace of knowing that time is not flying away from me without there being anything I could do about it. So, I come to you in prayer. I open my heart and my mind to you. Enter in and cleanse. Take away the urges to be distracted by this and that. Take me through this night, because honestly only you can at this point.

So, since I know that you are the bomb dezzy and can do all things, I ask this in Your son's name Jesus. He is awesomely cool and powerful, and I trust Him with all that I am.

I love you even though there are a lot of things in my life that I don't understand right now.... :-)

Stay fly :-)


Thursday, April 12, 2012

Have You Met My God??


It's been a hard scary week.
Not sure why all this has gone down.
But, I don't need to understand to trust you.

Satan thinks he can squash my purpose.
He has not met my God!

My body thinks that it will not recover.
It has not met my God!

My mind thinks it is not capable of understanding.
Who is wonderfully made by God again?

I may loose faith in who I am.
Have I forgotten that I'm besties with God??

The pain that is in my heart.
Skipping from vein to vein.
Will not consume me much longer.
Has it not met my God??

I am sure
   I am sure
      I am sure

as there is air in my lungs

     I serve a RISEN Savior!!

        So, Satan, if you thought you won this week....