How often have you taken the time to reflect on how accurate your perception of yourself and your life is?
The window to my room is open allowing the cool rain air to seep into my room. The scent is familiar and fresh. At this moment, the sound of rain drops is calming. It is consistent and repetitive, slowing my heartbeat. In this peaceful state, I wonder about some of the decisions on my plate and whether or not I will be able to make the best decision.
What is the basis of my decision making? Then it hits me. How connected am I to my one true source for making decision? I chose God because he knows me best. He has the most accurate perception of who Shana is. Unlike myself, whose ideals and vantage points change depending on feelings, Jesus's vision of me is never changing.
I must say, there are definitely days when I don't feel quite myself. I feel disconnected. I scan through the definitions of myself that I have gained over the years to appease my sense of loss. So many times I am left with more questions than answers. I am still learning about who I am and what makes me tick. That's why it is such a good thing that there is someone who knows me better than I know myself.
So, as the rain drops fall on the leaves and blades of grass, I take comfort in the knowing I don't have to answer all of my questions. There are going to be plenty of hard decisions ahead in which I will wish to have a concrete understanding of myself in order to make the best decisions. However, that is not my role. My role is to allow my character to thrive only in Christ. There are some aspects of me that need to die anyway. Why waste time holding onto what the Lord is trying to chisel away?
"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me--just as the Father knows me and I know the Father--and I lay down my life for the sheep." John 10:14-15
Teaching Bible at my school I have learned quite a bit about sheep. Yes, they have minimal intelligence so they are 100% dependent on the shepherd for life. They live for the sound of the shepherd's voice, going where ever is it. The shepherd knows every sheep by name, by its features, and personality. He plans ahead for the future of the sheep. In the end, he will do anything for his sheep. Such a bond.
How perfect of an analogy. The Shepherd knows each of us by name, by our features, and personality. He could pick us out of a crowd. He will do anything for us, including guide us in our daily lives. Help us make the best decisions possible. Purify our character.
There is no reason for me to stress over my character as if I have control in it. "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:8-10
Time to give God back the reigns. He is much better as leading my life than I am.
What do you think is God's perception of you and your life?
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