Was it Meant to be Easy?

As I sit here trying to motivate myself to be productive despite my tired body and mind, I wonder if I am trying to hard. Today was a long and extremely productive day at work. I feel very proud of what I was able to accomplish with my coworker, yet as soon as I walked through my front door, I did not feel the same motivation.

Now hours have passed and I feel shame for how I have spent my time. I have calmed my spirit, but have I used my time wisely?

Then I stop and ask God what he thinks.

I hear two things: balance and that my strength is small and his is great!

How could I ever forget that? If I really want to be a woman of action this year, then I need to derive my strength from the only source that is never without momentum. How silly of me!

***

Lord,

Thank you for today and for qualifying the one you have called. Please ignite my mind and spirit in the evenings. Let me never go an hour without dwelling on you or including you. Forgive me for my short-comings and continue to teach me how to do better.

Amen

***

I guess it is not as hard as I thought to get moving. Off I go!

~Shana

Focus.... or A.D.D.??

Ha! Focus. What are you?

So, I may joke, but focus is not a strength of mine. Determination suuure, I've got plenty of that. Focus, however... not so much.

Often times I wonder why I have to be so A.D.D. Like, why can't I just be beast and have mad focus skills? I guess it is that proverbial thorn in my side or it just is what it is. One thing I know for sure is that I have it. =)

What I ask of you Lord, right now, at this very moment, is for you to grant me the honor of having my mind think about only one thing right now. SCHOOL! Two tests tomorrow and I need the peace of knowing that time is not flying away from me without there being anything I could do about it. So, I come to you in prayer. I open my heart and my mind to you. Enter in and cleanse. Take away the urges to be distracted by this and that. Take me through this night, because honestly only you can at this point.

So, since I know that you are the bomb dezzy and can do all things, I ask this in Your son's name Jesus. He is awesomely cool and powerful, and I trust Him with all that I am.

I love you even though there are a lot of things in my life that I don't understand right now.... :-)

Stay fly :-)

Amen.

Time to Go Home!!

I know that I said my next post would be in conjunction to my last, but I going to step away for a second and write about something else.

     So, it's Friday evening and I am walking into the Collegedale Church sanctuary very determined to find a seat and fast. The place is filled more than usual. Why is that? Then it dawns on me. Mother-daughter weekend. Oh crap.... Then the one thing that I had been avoiding all week was directly in my face. My mother was not beside me. I received the dreadful news on Monday during my eight o'clock class and had chosen not to think about it. Now, as I sat in a pew by myself, I knew I wanted the friends that I cared about the most right next to me. I knew I needed to feel the warmth and love of those that I loved. I thought about who was going to actually be in attendance for vespers and then sent out the texts: calling all loved ones!!
    Knowing that I know longer sat alone, it gave me some peace; the peace that does not pass all understanding. But I quickly began to realize that there was more to this situation. That I felt more inside than I had originally wanted to see. My eyes began to wander into a different world. Seeing things from a different angle. My eyes lost interest in the songs being sung. My body became tense as I folded my arms. Then one of my friends reached out to me. Reminding me of who had never left me side.... The peace that passes understanding began to mist about me.
     The senses that the good Lord gave me, began to work once more. I felt my heart opening up to the songs that those around me were singing. The peace that passes understanding began to rain upon me.
     Then after vespers I loose my phone. Really? Was this was I needed? Where had the peace gone? Was I sensing a drought coming on? But, when it comes to God, does silence equate distance? I sat on the bleachers of Spalding, before making my way to my room, crying out to the Lord! Why?? I just wanted to be home. Home in my bed! Home with my family! ... Does silence equate distance?
     When I stopped wanting to know it all and just figuratively sat motionless in my room, all I heard was my air conditioner. I sat longer and I heard a knock on my door. I sat longer and heard the word of the Lord spoken through my friend. I sat.... and finally ..... the silence was broken.
     "Do you long for an earthly permanent address that does not exist more than you long for your everlasting home?" Thus saith the Lord.
     Such words struck a cord in my heart. I am but a single woman, one of many, on this plant, but for one woman Jesus would have died. His all was consumed by this world and spit out. Why? Home. My Father did all that He had to do to make sure I would come home to him.  How insane it is that I will shed a tear for Miami, Fl, but not for HEAVEN, state unknown (for city or country can claim it)!
     It seems as those who saw heaven didn't want to come back to earth, so is it going to be that those who have never seen heaven will only yearn to stay on earth? Shucks, it won't even be for long....

More Than a Simple Concept

Well, this being my first blog, I will just dive into my thoughts. Woot!

     Balance. So much more than an instrument used in a science lab, it is the essence of life. Look at the weather that we have been encountering these past few years, it has been very inconsistent. One year it is snowing a lot in a region that hardly ever gets snow, and the next year that same region is back to normal. People of various backgrounds and geographical locations will deliberate on what could be causing such an unbalance. Ultimately, they come to no single conclusion, instead they agree to disagree.
     So, what else could balance entail? We are all familiar with the concept of living a balanced life. Yes. That is no new concept. But, is it more than a concept? What does a balanced life entail? Eating right, getting an appropriate amount of sleep each night, exercising and spending quality time with the Lord. But, if I attempt to do each of these things, does that automatically mean that I am now living a balanced life? My answer is no.
     Devotions are critical to my sanity. Each day I seek to spend quality time with the Lord to ensure that I am equip for the day. This past week, God has been defining balance slowly but surely. So, what has He been sharing? One, it all starts in the mind. Two, patience is the forgotten ingredient. And, more to come when He reveals the other components.
     In this blog, I'll dive into numero uno. Why does it all start in the mind? Well, who makes you pick the red shirt over the green one? Who makes you choose what to cook for dinner? You make these decisions yourself. You talk yourself into or out of anything! Man, that is so true. Why I sometimes start to get ready for the gym, but never exactly get my sneakers on.... Fail! I have noticed how little times during the day do we make calculated decisions. Instead we just go with whatever works for the moment. Imagine, though, if we would see life more in the big picture. What a difference that would make. Instead of taking a nap, we could do something to get our mind going again. Then we would stay productive and ultimately not feel the pressure to stay up late. Just an example.
    So, nothing new, it all begins in the mind. What does that have to do with balance? Who has the power to help you make better decisions? Decisions that, when you put them altogether, reveal a beautiful picture of balance. The author of our faith should also be the author of our decisions. It is so hard for us to make all the right decisions to keep a balanced lifestyle, that most of us give up after a day or two of trying. We need to open our tired eyes, and see that the God who we spend time wants to step in and lead our minds. When you are frustrated, which will affect your decisions making ability, He can take control of every nerve. When you are overwhelmed by the tasks of life, He can relax every nerve. Then He moves beyond your mind and to your body. You become filled with peace and assurance. Suddenly you have a sense of clarity and hope. The sleep you thought you would never get, you realize you have had for two days straight now. The concept of drinking 8 glasses of water becomes easy as pie. The walk to gym shrinks from 30 minutes to 5 minutes. 3 hours of study time for 2 classes, turns into 5 hours for 4 classes. Reality is what you make it. So, when God takes reign over your mind, true balance becomes your reality.