I know that I said my next post would be in conjunction to my last, but I going to step away for a second and write about something else.
So, it's Friday evening and I am walking into the Collegedale Church sanctuary very determined to find a seat and fast. The place is filled more than usual. Why is that? Then it dawns on me. Mother-daughter weekend. Oh crap.... Then the one thing that I had been avoiding all week was directly in my face. My mother was not beside me. I received the dreadful news on Monday during my eight o'clock class and had chosen not to think about it. Now, as I sat in a pew by myself, I knew I wanted the friends that I cared about the most right next to me. I knew I needed to feel the warmth and love of those that I loved. I thought about who was going to actually be in attendance for vespers and then sent out the texts: calling all loved ones!!
Knowing that I know longer sat alone, it gave me some peace; the peace that does not pass all understanding. But I quickly began to realize that there was more to this situation. That I felt more inside than I had originally wanted to see. My eyes began to wander into a different world. Seeing things from a different angle. My eyes lost interest in the songs being sung. My body became tense as I folded my arms. Then one of my friends reached out to me. Reminding me of who had never left me side.... The peace that passes understanding began to mist about me.
The senses that the good Lord gave me, began to work once more. I felt my heart opening up to the songs that those around me were singing. The peace that passes understanding began to rain upon me.
Then after vespers I loose my phone. Really? Was this was I needed? Where had the peace gone? Was I sensing a drought coming on? But, when it comes to God, does silence equate distance? I sat on the bleachers of Spalding, before making my way to my room, crying out to the Lord! Why?? I just wanted to be home. Home in my bed! Home with my family! ... Does silence equate distance?
When I stopped wanting to know it all and just figuratively sat motionless in my room, all I heard was my air conditioner. I sat longer and I heard a knock on my door. I sat longer and heard the word of the Lord spoken through my friend. I sat.... and finally ..... the silence was broken.
"Do you long for an earthly permanent address that does not exist more than you long for your everlasting home?" Thus saith the Lord.
Such words struck a cord in my heart. I am but a single woman, one of many, on this plant, but for one woman Jesus would have died. His all was consumed by this world and spit out. Why? Home. My Father did all that He had to do to make sure I would come home to him. How insane it is that I will shed a tear for Miami, Fl, but not for HEAVEN, state unknown (for city or country can claim it)!
It seems as those who saw heaven didn't want to come back to earth, so is it going to be that those who have never seen heaven will only yearn to stay on earth? Shucks, it won't even be for long....
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