The Basis of Your Hope

To say that this week has been challenging would be an understatement. I have felt more strong emotions this week that I have in a while. Sadly, though "a while" is not as long as it should be. The past couple months have really been trying. God is calling my character forward into the light through some intense trials. There are some days when all I want to do is scream, other days I want a waterfall to come gushing out of my eyes, then there are days when I have nothing to say. Yet, in every moment of every day, I have yet to feel alone. Yes, I may miss my friends and family, but I do not feel alone. God is with me.

It is easy to feel like there is no one on the planet who at a precise moment has not a clue how you feel.  No gets you.... Wrong! There are many people who understand what you are going through. You just may not have encountered them yet. This week I sat on a bench soaking up the warmth from the sun while encountering someone who got what I am going through. As I spoke with one of my friends, to my shock, I was not the only one going through such a specific and tricky tribulation. I was not alone.

When I would feel the feelings of loneliness and confusion creeping in, God would send a messenger my way. It would come through a needed quote, from a phone call at the precise moment needed, a Bible verse, a song, and words from above spoken through any willing vessel. Wednesday was that day. It still shocks me how persistent God is. All day long, message after message. He would not give up! God never gave up on me.

From this long week, I can truly say without a shadow of a doubt that I KNOW that God is with me. That is not speculation or hear say. I still have no idea how He is going to take me step by step, but He will. I have experienced loneliness, so I know what God's presence feels like. I have experienced fear, so I know what God's comfort feels like. I have heard silence, so I know what God's voice sounds like. It was the hardest week, but it was not impossible! God was seeking for me to feel and experience who he really is. This week God was not a figment of my spiritual imagination, God was, and is, a real being who is taking my life by storm.

For all those out there who feel like there is no hope, recall what the basis of your hope is. Is it because of the stuff you have in your life or is because of the God in your life.

How has God shown His worth to you?


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No Greater Evil

"Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan came also among them. And the Lord said unto Satan, Whence camest thou? Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it." 

Job 1:6,7

Unlike the other worlds which God created, Satan was able to deceive this one. He took it upon himself to declare himself "ruler of this world."

In turn, Earth is the center of evil in our universe. Then what must be the greatest of all evil?

"So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but the sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not." Romans 7:17,18

Verses 19-21 continues to reinforce that the greatest evil we will struggle over is self. 

Matthew 26:41, "Watch and pray, that ye not enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

From movies and books, we may accept the perception that there is greater evil out of this world that could destroy us, but this is not what God says. Our father implores us to turn our eyes towards him so that no weapon formed against you shall prosper--even if that weapon is our own sinful nature.

How is Christ trying to redirect you toward Him from sin?

~Shana

7 Days

What if you were given seven days to address a particular weakness? Seven intensive days of honing into that aspect of your character.

What if you knew that God would really come through at the end of the week?

There would be no turning back. 

No matter if the sin is lying, you would be confronted as soon as you lie. In response to that constant awareness, you would have to confront the root of your addiction to lying. Leading you to confront those demons and begin to seek healthier habit.

If lying is not your Achilles heel, then insert what is your downfall.

Would you agree to such a week? Would you be willing to feel pain and hurt in order to receive deliverance?

Honestly, not everyone is up to the challenge. Honestly I am not sure if I am up to the challenge for some of the sins I am struggling. For I know that there will be a lot of tears and I will have to put feelings into words that I may not know how to or be disposed to.

"Behold I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come into him, and sup with him, and he with me." Revelation 3:20

What a loving Savior!! When you are ready to dive into the depths of your character and confront the sins of your life, you don't have to look far for Jesus to carry you through. As a result, you may have a hard week, month, year, or two years, but, "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want." Psalms 23:1

"And my God shall meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

"For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; 'he will lead them to springs of living water.' 'And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.'" Revelation 7:17

Are you ready to take the leap of faith with your loving Savior??

~Shana

Too Many Changes!!!

Ode to be a kid again.

Where I am in my life, I would not categorize as the most fun point in my life. I am not comfortable and relaxed. 

Ode to be a kid again.

Change is hard. Change causes you to do some introspection and evaluate how you are progressing in life. Confirm whether or not you are actually adaptable. Change evokes powerful emotions often masked by simplicity. Change pulls and tugs on your heart.

Ode to be a kid again.

Power. We all want it in some shape or form. Power is addicting. Power feels very gratifying. Potential power plays a predictable role in our decision making process.

Ode to be a kid again.

A common phrase you may here is, "The struggle is real." I myself use this phrase to articulate that hard times are not a possibility, there are a reality. As much as we know about Christ, there is a tug of war that goes on in our heart and mind. I know that God is making a way for me to continue to grow and experience and reach his children, but my weak mind questions why it has to be so hard and why must I go through changes that make my stomach ache. If only I had more control (power) over the situation, things would turn our differently. Why must my eyes well up at the thought of having to accept so much new? I am going to chose your path to follow, but I feel my feet slowing down. Where has my enthusiasm to serve you gone?

"Thy word have I hid in my heart..."

The reality of walking with God is often times more than we perceive we can bear. It is almost shocking. If our life begins to parallel some of the Bible characters we have read about, fear starts to creep in. It's almost as if we were not expecting hard times like the Old Testament or life changing/ relocating experiences like in the New Testament.

"Thy word have I hid in my heart..." 

Brother, Sister, the fact is that this body we have is going to feel a lot of things throughout the rest of 2014 and the remainder of our time on earth. If you are to comfortable, please read John 15:18. We must put our trust in the right place. Don't let your discomfort confuse you into thinking you are all alone and without love and protection. 

"Thy word have I hid in my heart..."

I am not sure why the Lord keeps repeating this verse to me, but I sense it is because of John 1:1-4. We need to hold tight to the only lifeline that is able to sooth an aching heart, calm your anxious leg from continuously shaking, and motivate you to press forward every day.

There are days when being a kid seems like the easy way out. To reach back into time when your concerns were how much jelly was on your PB&J, whether Jamal and Katie wanted to be in your new club, or if you would make it home on time to watch your favorite TV show. But, who says God is not capable to reducing our stress?? Matthew 11:28-30. I need that type of rest. So, if it is available, then I suggest that I take advantage of it. 

Psalms 119:9-12 gives the big picture of the day. Take this word like it is chocolate or whatever your favorite food is, and savor every syllable and meaning. Then take it and savor it some more later on in the day. While you walk, drive, brush your teeth, stand in line, work out. Then before you sleep, savor it some more. Then repeat, repeat, repeat.

Check out this song to meditate on.

Where is our Savior taking in the latter part of 2014??

~Shana

Not There Yet

     Earlier this week, I posted on how God was the only way to get through my hard week. I would have to choose to draw close to him and then he would comfort me.

     Well, as this week comes to a close, I can not say that I feel back to my chipper self. I continue to feel the weight of my trials upon my shoulders. So, what could I possibly have to say to you then?

God is alluring.

     Each night before going to sleep, I took some time to spend it with God. I did not know how to let him in completely, but I wanted to learn more about him. Each night the desire to learn increased to the point that I felt it in the middle of the day. I would anticipate bed time so that I could spend it with him.

     Now I see how God was drawing me to him in an unexpected way. I was expecting the usual: come to me, don't stress about work, or trust in me. Instead the Lord took the same message and wrapped in a different package. It worked! I came to the feet of Jesus, gazing into his marvelous eyes. Now I feel comforted and I compelled to trust him to take me through this tough time.

     This week God has reminded me that he is full of surprises and fully capable of handling me. Without even realizing it, I was being comforted.

My God is AWESOME!

How has our Lord drawn you to his side? I would love to hear about it!


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Today Indeed was Rough!

   

     I must say, today was a rough day. So much so that all I wanted to do was hide away from it all in my room. So, when I got home this evening, that is exactly what I did. Yet, it was not as satisfying as I had hoped it would be. I felt a nagging in my heart to open it up to God and allow him to comfort me from the trials experienced at work.

     Despite my carnal desires, I have chosen to spend some time with God. The verse that came to mind was Mark 14:38 which says, "The spirit is indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." I am a living testimony of how true that verse is. When you think that you will have power over the sin you are currently struggle, remember YOU DO NOT! In retrospect, I see how God could have comforted me earlier had I opened my heart up to him.

"I can do all things through CHRIST which strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Only through the power of God are we able to conquer even the smallest of things like sitting up in bed and talking to God instead of watching TV.

     I employ you rise above any pride that may be holding you back from letting God in at this very moment. Our Lord is right there ready to help you to be victorious. He desires to share blessings upon blessings with you. You may make the wrong decision at times, however keep the words of Paul in your heart:

"Nay, in all things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." Romans 8:37

Can you recall a time when you were not sure you wanted to spend time with God, yet in the end it was rewarding?

~Shana

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He Comes Through in the End

Today has definitely been a tough day at work. It just seemed so endless. Too many children to watch; too many reminders to stay on task; and too many academic decisions to be made. It was just endless.

By 4 p.m. I just wanted to go home. I was running low on fuel and my patience tank was depleting. Yet, I still had my third group of students on the docket for the day. I felt like I was dragging myself along. I was just done.

As I stand at the board teaching math a while later, I realize that this last group of students did not deserve to get my left overs. I felt burnt out, but they still needed their teacher. They deserved the same positive, fun, learning environment that I had provided earlier in the day.

I wish I could say that I did a 180 and was ready again to tackle the rest of my day. Nope. That is not what happened. However, I can say that I said a prayer in my heart to God and my outlook improved. I felt like I had a little more energy and a lot more mental clarity. Most importantly I felt God speaking through me and teaching my student when I felt unable to pull information from my mind. That was when I truly felt the power.

So, what is the morel of the story? I have no idea what God meant for me to get from today specifically since I feel like so much happened, but I know that I will never forget how he answered my prayer. He spoke through me, which spoke to me. He lifted me up when I felt I could only go down. He came through for my students when I could not. So, I guess:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 

in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

~Proverbs 3:5-6

The Student Keeping the Teacher Accountable

Today, while talking to one of my students, I recalled a time when he was disrespectful to me in class.
It was only yesterday, so it was fresh on the mind. After going back and forth about what really happened, he began to share why he acted so rudely. “I knew you would ask about it. I needed to be held accountable.”

Wow. I needed to be held accountable. That is a very powerful statement to come from the mouth of a 16-year-old struggling with defiance. At that moment, God has helped him to articulate that being held accountable was something to be valued.

I was so shocked at the statement that I instantly performed some introspection. How willing am I to be held accountable?

Also today, a friend of mine vented about one of her coworkers that was not open to being held accountable. She rehashed many memories of frustrating scenarios and impact it left on her. It was hard to see her hurting, but at the same time it made me think. Why do we as adults reject accountability so often? When we see that spirit in children, we instantly know how to diagnose that child; but we do not perform the doctor role when the patient is ourselves.

Lord, this is definitely one of the reasons your Word tells us to possess a humble spirit. When we are filled with pride, it is close to impossible for us to grow. Why? Because we are not doing anything that warrants a change. How sad.

So, despite my title of teacher, without my student’s knowledge, he taught me a refresher lesson on being humble. If I critique others for being difficult with God, then I must not refuse to surrender my weakness to God and take his help—whatever form it comes in.

Stress

"15 Then Nathan went home. And the Lord caused the son of David and Bathsheba, Uriah's widow, to be very sick. 16 David fasted and went into his house and stayed there, lying on the ground all night. 17 The elders of David's family came to him and tried to pull him up from the ground, but he refused to get up or to eat food with them.
18 On the seventh day the baby died. David's servants were afraid to tell him that the baby was dead. They said, 'Look, we tried to talk to David while the baby was alive, but he refused to listen to us. If we tell him the baby is dead, he may do something awful.'
19 When David saw his servants whispering, he knew that the baby was dead. So he asked the, 'Is the baby dead?' They answered, 'Yes, he is dead.'
20 Then David got up from the floor, washed himself. put lotions on, and changed his clothes. Then he went into the Lord's house of worship...."
     ~2 Samuel 12:15-20

Having had a tough day, and hearing council from a good friend about letting go of stress, I knew that I wanted to return to my hommie David and recall his many stressful situations. How did he deal?

I carefully and prayerfully opened my eyes to this chapter. Although David's situation isn't similar in any way to my situation, stress is stress. There were a couple things that jumped out at me. It is all that human nature shinning through.

1) The struggle.
After hearing from Nathan that his baby was going to die, David shut down. Nathan spoke all that God asked him to speak. It was all very clear what the consequences of David's actions were and why they were going to occur. But, after hearing these things, David shut down. Not easy things to grasp, yes that is true, but the deeper struggle is acceptance.
How easy is it to accept the hurricanes that come our way. It's a whole lot easier to curl into a ball or to lose momentum. The emotions that desire to linger during these times are dangerous. They are so borderline. You desire to give God all in the situation, but.... There is the 'but'. That's why I use the term struggle.

2) The Hearing Impaired
When you are at the point of deciding whether or not to give all to the Lord, we often times become like the hearing impaired- temporarily at least. Everyone tried to talk to David. It got to the point where they were not sure how emotionally stable he was. When the baby actually died, everyone was walking on eggshells, unsure of what would happen at any second.
At that moment when the flesh is weak but oh so strong and you hear Jesus speaking, do you listen to him. It's like when we are in class. You hear your boring-redundant professor speaking, but are you intently listening? Internalizing the words leaving his/her mouth?

"21 David's servants said to him, 'Why are you doing this? When the baby was still alive, you fasted and you cried. Now that the baby is dead, you get up and eat food.'
22 David said, 'While the baby was still alive, I fasted, and I cried. I thought, 'Who knows? Maybe the Lord will feel sorry for me and let the baby live.' But now that the baby is dead, why should I fast? I can't bring him back to life. Someday I will go to him, but he cannot come back to me.'"
     verses 21-22

Breakthrough. Choosing not to stress about things that are not in your control (or in your control). David was able to make that choice in regard to losing his child. His child.... How much more should I be able to dedicate all of my emotions to God? How much more should I let things go. I have not experienced the pain in losing a child. But, it's not the amount of pain that makes the difference, it's amount of peace that you really want. Either you desire to be at rest or you desire to hold onto the unrest.

I am no longer stressed.

Have You Met My God??

Lord,

It's been a hard scary week.
Not sure why all this has gone down.
But, I don't need to understand to trust you.

Satan thinks he can squash my purpose.
He has not met my God!

My body thinks that it will not recover.
It has not met my God!

My mind thinks it is not capable of understanding.
Who is wonderfully made by God again?

I may loose faith in who I am.
Have I forgotten that I'm besties with God??

The pain that is in my heart.
Skipping from vein to vein.
Will not consume me much longer.
Has it not met my God??

I am sure
   I am sure
      I am sure

as there is air in my lungs

     I serve a RISEN Savior!!

        So, Satan, if you thought you won this week....

                                                          HA!

Time to Go Home!!

I know that I said my next post would be in conjunction to my last, but I going to step away for a second and write about something else.

     So, it's Friday evening and I am walking into the Collegedale Church sanctuary very determined to find a seat and fast. The place is filled more than usual. Why is that? Then it dawns on me. Mother-daughter weekend. Oh crap.... Then the one thing that I had been avoiding all week was directly in my face. My mother was not beside me. I received the dreadful news on Monday during my eight o'clock class and had chosen not to think about it. Now, as I sat in a pew by myself, I knew I wanted the friends that I cared about the most right next to me. I knew I needed to feel the warmth and love of those that I loved. I thought about who was going to actually be in attendance for vespers and then sent out the texts: calling all loved ones!!
    Knowing that I know longer sat alone, it gave me some peace; the peace that does not pass all understanding. But I quickly began to realize that there was more to this situation. That I felt more inside than I had originally wanted to see. My eyes began to wander into a different world. Seeing things from a different angle. My eyes lost interest in the songs being sung. My body became tense as I folded my arms. Then one of my friends reached out to me. Reminding me of who had never left me side.... The peace that passes understanding began to mist about me.
     The senses that the good Lord gave me, began to work once more. I felt my heart opening up to the songs that those around me were singing. The peace that passes understanding began to rain upon me.
     Then after vespers I loose my phone. Really? Was this was I needed? Where had the peace gone? Was I sensing a drought coming on? But, when it comes to God, does silence equate distance? I sat on the bleachers of Spalding, before making my way to my room, crying out to the Lord! Why?? I just wanted to be home. Home in my bed! Home with my family! ... Does silence equate distance?
     When I stopped wanting to know it all and just figuratively sat motionless in my room, all I heard was my air conditioner. I sat longer and I heard a knock on my door. I sat longer and heard the word of the Lord spoken through my friend. I sat.... and finally ..... the silence was broken.
     "Do you long for an earthly permanent address that does not exist more than you long for your everlasting home?" Thus saith the Lord.
     Such words struck a cord in my heart. I am but a single woman, one of many, on this plant, but for one woman Jesus would have died. His all was consumed by this world and spit out. Why? Home. My Father did all that He had to do to make sure I would come home to him.  How insane it is that I will shed a tear for Miami, Fl, but not for HEAVEN, state unknown (for city or country can claim it)!
     It seems as those who saw heaven didn't want to come back to earth, so is it going to be that those who have never seen heaven will only yearn to stay on earth? Shucks, it won't even be for long....